By Micaela Passeri
Desire is what got you here. It’s what fueled your late nights, your bold decisions, your unwavering belief that there was more for you than the box the world offered. But what happens when that same desire—the very fire that built your business, your career, your credibility—starts to burn you out? In a world that constantly demands more, faster, better, stronger, many ambitious women find themselves caught in a paradox: They are living the dream… but they’re no longer feeling alive in it.
The Desire Dilemma: When Growth Feels Hollow
As women in leadership, we are often applauded for our ambition—but rarely taught how to discern the source of it.
Desire, in its purest form, is powerful. It aligns with purpose. It guides us toward impact. It moves from the inside out.
But when desire is entangled with unhealed wounds, people-pleasing, or societal pressure, it mutates. It becomes:
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The need to prove instead of express
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The need to achieve instead of align
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The need to be chosen instead of choose
In this state, no success ever feels like enough. The milestones become moments of relief—not celebration. And slowly, the very thing that once motivated you becomes the reason you feel disconnected from yourself.
You’re Not Alone: The Unspoken Crisis Among High-Performing Women
I’ve coached founders, authors, coaches, executives—powerhouse women who are changing the world… and quietly asking themselves:
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“Why do I still feel empty?”
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“Why can’t I slow down?”
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“Why doesn’t this win feel like I thought it would?”
These women are not broken. They are misaligned.
And often, it’s because their desire has been hijacked by unconscious beliefs:
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“If I slow down, I’ll fall behind.”
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“If I’m not achieving, I’m not valuable.”
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“If I don’t keep going, they’ll forget me.”
These are not just mindset issues. They are emotional survival patterns. And they show up in everything—from how you set goals, to how you price your offers, to how you treat yourself behind the scenes.
Desire Rooted in Wholeness: A New Standard of Success
The solution is not to silence desire. It’s to realign it with your truth.
When desire is rooted in wholeness rather than lack, your business becomes an extension of your values—not a substitute for your self-worth.
You lead with:
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Vision instead of urgency
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Confidence instead of comparison
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Clarity instead of craving
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Sustainability instead of emotional spikes
And what emerges is not just success—it’s fulfillment.
What This Looks Like In Real Life
Let’s be clear: this is not about playing small or stepping back from ambition. It’s about rising from a different place—one that’s more grounded, more present, and more powerful.
Women who operate from aligned desire often experience:
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More spaciousness in their schedule without sacrificing income
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Deeper joy in their client work or leadership role
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Greater discernment in opportunities—they no longer say yes out of fear
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Improved relationships because they’re no longer emotionally drained
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Increased impact—because their energy is no longer scattered by chasing
They aren’t working less. They’re working smarter—because they’re no longer driven by proving or pleasing.
How to Begin the Shift
Here’s where to start:
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Pause before pursuing. Ask yourself: “Do I truly want this? Or do I feel like I should want it?”
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Audit your goals. Are they rooted in your current values—or outdated expectations?
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Watch your language. Replace “I have to” with “I choose to.” It seems small, but it shifts everything.
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Get curious about your triggers. When someone else’s success makes you feel behind, pause. What story are you telling yourself about what “more” means?
This Is Leadership Redefined
True leadership is not about chasing—it’s about choosing.
And when women choose from alignment instead of anxiety, we build a new paradigm of power—one that reclaims desire as a tool for joy, purpose, and legacy.
Because we were never meant to hustle for our worth. We were meant to create from our truth.
Final Thoughts: It’s Time to Want From Wholeness
Desire is a gift. It is your compass, your creative engine, your invitation to evolve.
But only when it’s truly yours.
So today, I invite you to ask:
Where is your desire coming from—your truth or your trauma?
Because the moment you make that distinction is the moment everything changes.
